Things That Made Me Tough

"Day 10 on my "Walk About". All is well. 6:35 am 55 degrees and rainy. Half way through my morning 5 mile ritual and I get an epiphany. More on that later, promise.As epiphanies go, it was hugely profound and may have changed the direction of my life forever, or at least brought me back to a grounding point.Anyway, as I said more on that later."

Ok, So lets try to stage this for you. For the past 4 months as most of you know I have been unemployed as a former co-worker told me.
"Let's face it you got screwed by some rather incompetent and unscrupulous people."
None the less,that is in the past and I must live in the now. An acquaintance of mine is a life coach. She drew the parallel that the loss of a job after 18yrs is much like the loss of a family member emotionally. You go through 3 very distinct phases,( disbelief, anger, sorrow ),each beholding their own unique challenges and growth opportunities. The hard part is getting through each stage with some sense of clarity so that you can actually see the forest through the trees and grasp the growth or more pointedly "Grasshopper snatch the pebble from the hand."

As I was hiking up one of the many hills that are splattered into my morning walk which I added to my daily workout routine it hit me. The adrenaline rush associated with this moment was indescribably intense. It hit me so hard I thought maybe my former roommate and ex-NFL Offensive Lineman had pulled around the corner and leveled me with a crushing block. ( which did happen once.Thanks Eug.) The rain was pouring down. I was walking at a good clip and I realized this was exactly the types of moments that had made me tough. Doing things that others are not willing to do. In high School the many mornings of running with my Dad at 5am while he and his nut case pals trained for the Ironman. At Virginia Tech Always pushing myself during strength training and to win the mile and a half conditioning run against our overly cocky quarterback. Did I win every time? No, but I won enough that people took notice and so did I, and that is what fueled me for next time. The years of 4:45am wake ups to attend spin class & weight training.

Ok so you are asking why these things are significant? The answer is these are the things that made me tough. I have allowed myself over the past few years to slack off on the workouts whether due to my arthritis, kids, work whatever. Sure family, my health and life are all important, very important. These were the things that identified me. So the epiphany was just that. These are the traits I had adopted that made me who I was and when I allowed them to fade I may have faded a bit with them. I have never been a quitter and especially when we are talking about life. So the in the words of Robert Plant " Hey Hey Momma said the way you move, gonna make you sweat gonna make you groove." Tony is getting his groove back. I do not have a job, but my job or job title has never been what has identified me as a person. Sure I will get a new job someday. Hopefully someday soon.The important things is that through all the disbelief, anger and sorrowful moments I have endured the past 4 months, I have gained a pearl of wisdom in this epiphenomena event. Sometimes in the winds of change, we find true direction.

Off to continue taking back what is rightfully mine. I must harness my toughness, my persona, my life. Just try to take it away again, see how that works out for you Life.

"Keep On Rocking In The Free World"