So, sleep the past few days has been spotty at best. High levels of stress have brought on this strange, wakeful pattern. So today I tribute the damned, lazy-ass sheep that seem to just want to hang out in my pre-REM phase and graze. No jumping over the moon, or the fence, nothing. How am I to sleep if I can't count you foolishly inactive muttons jumping over something?
So, I will drift off to sleep for a period of time but then find myself kind of an awake but still somewhat dreamy state or insomniactic (it is a word today - because I said) condition. So, being that I am dreaming, I think, I'll go for something good. Going for broke. Something I would never do in real life. Yes, I order a lap dance. Why not? After all I am sleeping/dreaming right? But when the order arrives, well, shall we say, let's all understand why I am not pleased with my somewhat catatonic choice and the result. I guess you get what you pay for as they say.
So, the sheep are on alert. If I cannot count you to help me go to sleep, then stop sending Clarabell the slut cow over to ruin everything. I will go blog or read a book. Good night.
Yet Another Jay and Deb Production.
5 comments:
Stopping over from Halftime Lessons... LOVE your tribute! So funny! Great blog! Will be following!
you've officially lost your mind.
this was funny.
Maybe they should send over a nice goat.
Oh, is my Texan showing? Sorry about that.
Sorry about the loss of Zss too!!
Try Ambien. Then Try more. Then wash down a third with a fistful of Tylenol PM.
Im not a doctor, but I play one at bedtime.
Great post, T.
J
Good luck with the sleep thing. Slutty cows never help much.... :)
Maybe you just need a good dose of sunshine!
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