Mad * Freaking Mad World Friday

So let's do this.
We live in a Mad Mad World these days. The pain in our country is raw and palpable. I am not sure that the moon hangs as high as it used to. I do not know if the sun really wants to shine anymore. I just don't know. Do you? I DO know that the rain is not going to wash away our country's troubles and to hide behind any ill accepted idea that our government, in its infinite wisdom, is going to be able to fix this is foolhardy at best. Our happiness is not a map that sits on our door step each morning waiting to show us the way.

With this said, this weekend is Easter, today is Good Friday. Both symbols of resurrection and cleansing of soul and humanity. Our faces are a map of the world, our world. I think we all need to make a concerted effort and attempt to resurrect our mad world from this cesspool of a shitty economy and find a ray of hope, a new garden path or new personal plan, whatever it may be to which we boldly move forward on our own as individuals, families, neighborhoods and communities. Pay it forward no matter how small the action or gift. Smile at someone when you may not have. Pay someone's toll, pay for someone's coffee if you can. Choose to be happy even if you feel painfully frustrated and helpless. Hold onto the American staple of humor. Laughter is the golden ticket, even if you're only laughing at yourself. It always finds a way to lift your spirits. I promise it will pay your psyche back in spades. God bless you all. I wish you a wonderful Easter spring weekend.

Here is one classic to start you off. Thanks to my new friend Jessica





Keep On Rockin' In The Free World

A Thousand Words Thursday

Kids need clothes & shoes right? Well, I am happy to say my daughter has good taste in fashion. Ed Hardy rocks the edgy side of the clothing world, and she loves it. Great style kiddo. Your awesome grades earned it. Those will rock a killer Easter dress. I am so proud of you.
Love, Dad



Keep on Rockin the Free world

Wordful Wednesday- Am I talking to the wall?

You know the things I hear when I talk to myself? Yeah, they are the crazy, irreverent at times and sometimes thought provoking ramblings that end up making it on this island of scrawling. Every piece of the written word has a calculated purpose. I take a great deal of pride in what I allow out of this over concussed cerebrum for your eyes to read and hopefully enjoy. I find that I talk to myself a great deal these days. I'm not sure it is actually healthy or maybe it is a good thing. I mean, when you talk to yourself, it is harder to have a dissenting reply like you may get from a normal conversation. Well, until my alter-ego Bob decides to step into the conversation. Then all Hell can break loose. (Note to self, discuss with therapist Bob's current behavior).

There are days when I feel like I am really talking to a wall. You know, like asking your wife a question and you get nothing in response. Nothing. In my mind I think,
" What the hell? Did a properly constructed question not just emanate from my lips in your direction and at a volume in which you could hear and understand what I said? "
If so, then what's with the non responsiveness? You're not pale and pulse-less laying on the ground dead. Freaking respond. Say something, anything. A grunt, like the apes before us to simply acknowledge my presence. The worst is asking the kids what they want for dinner.
"Ok, then you will have brussel sprouts, pea soup and spam sandwiches."
So, I think this translates to everything in our lives. If you read something you like or dislike please take a moment to comment and respond to the penman. Let us all know, we are not just talking to the wall. To those who do leave a quick comment, God bless your considerate soul.

Keep on rocking in the free world, peace out.

Tuesday's Tribute- Yeah that is Freaking Smart

Ok, so I am going to keep this tribute as short and sweet as possible. (good luck with that, my mind tells me.)

I am sending a resounding tribute out to the guy who can't seem to figure out how the hell to pronounce Pakistan each day. Let me help you (Pack-i-stan) not Pauk-a-staun. Apparently my editor has let me know that this country can be pronounced either way. However, I would rather have this high profile individual worrying about more pressing matters than creating a new cultural pronunciation. See, this is just one of my very deep set worries I have with someone who, 76 days into office, has been given a free pass by the press with no end in sight and has basically spent my kids' and their kids' futures down the Suez canal. But, when I asked a couple of college students the other day what they liked about this man so much that they voted him into office? They replied, "he gives such good speeches."

Whoooo, hold the presses. Really? That is the criteria or standard used to make such a huge decision? Really? Being a good speaker is what we are going to accept as we watch him do his version of the old Eddie Murphy, Beverly Hills Cops banana in the tailpipe rendition to us tax paying citizens? The worst of it is yet to come I am sure, not to alarm any of you who are still caught in the honeymoon bliss of this administration. For those dying to take advantage of next year's zero percent federal "death tax," they may want to kill those plans. President Obama's budget keeps the estate tax at the 2009 level, which means the government gets 45 percent of a dead person's estate valued over $3.5 million dollars or $7 million for a couple.
Republicans argue this tax doesn't just strike the wealthy. (WHAT??)

"It destroys a lot of small businesses and a lot of family farms and ranches in America," said Sen. John Ensign, R-Nev.

"People who aren't wealthy, who may have built up value in land over generations and many family farms find themselves in situations where they've got to sell the farm in order for them to pay the taxes." Yeah, because you can count on 2 things in this country...death and taxes. Now hell, your ass can die and your beloved family can enjoy much grief and more taxes. What a novel and soothing concept. R.I.P.

Can I just say let's give a big round of applause to all you ostriches out there. Thanks for the banana in the tail pipe treatment. I guess it lubed me up for the North Korean nuke we will be getting soon. Oh, but Mrs.O looks so "hot" in those argyle blue dresses. What-evs. Bite me.

Peace out, word to your mother and keep on rocking in the free world.


A Jay and Deb Production.

Pick me Jay, Pick me...

Far Out Friday

So in support of my new friend EM and her recent post about a type A raising a type B, I had to share this moment of beauty.

A few nights ago, dinner is over, the kitchen is all cleaned with care, dishwasher loaded with the 30 million small plastic cups you get from every kids' pizza house and freaking food joint in town. Small cups for small hands, right? RIGHT....

But we seem to dirty like 20 a day...blah, blah blah...A family can never have enough of those trinkets of marketing trash. So I had asked the kids to try to use one cup for the entire day. Am I asking too much? Unless a bird happens by and shits in the said cup, it should be able to support your daily need for water, milk and maybe some juice. Just rinse and keep using. No?

So I hear the laughter of my 2 ever glowing geniuses from the kitchen. I just know that at 8 & 5 this means something of odd or potentially destructive value is taking place. So I go to investigate.

I round the corner and yes I was correct. They had taken party straws and jammed them into the outlet tube on the refrigerator door water dispenser to drink water.

"Mia Skatulli!! (Greek for little shits - they do not understand Greek yet, so it is my last island of expression that has not been explored by Columbus and his sister.) Why are you doing this?!!"


"We didn't want to use more cups, Dad."

I guess I had it coming, but come on. 8 & 5 and they have learned to tap into a 6ft tall keg of water? What is next? I dare not ask... Oy Vey.. God Bless me please.

Song of the Day: Live--- Lightening Crashes

A Thousand Words Thursday

As most of you know the premise behind ATWT is, as the CEO of ATWT said,

"Every Thursday I am going to post a picture that is powerful, that expresses emotion, and speaks volumes to me." The Mom Jen

On this Thursday I choose to be thankful as I am everyday for my every growing little man. These photos were taken Nov. 2007 before and after he had a thyroglossal duct cyst removed and then an additional surgery 7 days later to remove some straggling tissue and massive infection. The doctors and staff at the Doernbecker Children's Hospital were awesome. I do not know who was more scared, little man or his mother and me? The "Hugs & Kisses Corner", directly before entering the operating room, was a parental learning curve for which I was ill prepared. That was not in the owners' manual.

I love this little guy with every fiber of my being. I am thankful.

WW April Fools - Really?

News Flash:
Osama Bin Laden has been caught, the economy is back, home prices are rising at a record rate, companies are on every corner begging people to come to work for them at outrageously high wages never heard of with extra benefits. And I am going to get more than a 5 minute window for a bit of monkey loving with my wife before one of the kids comes knocking on the door.
ME- " Go away, I am teaching your mom some new Taekwondo moves." Blah, blah, blah, whatever.....Save it.

So, let's get this over with. April fools is, well, for fools. There... I said it. And yes, I said it with my "outdoor voice". Yes, when you were 11 and the teacher did the whole,
"Surprise! You have a math test today.... April Fools!"
That was ok. But if you are over the age of 11 and are crafting some lame ass April Fools prank, stop. Don't. It just makes you look more sophomoric than you already are. But have an awesome day. Happy Birthday Angie.

Tuesdays Tribute- Bitchin Amy

I am keeping it simple. First, thanks to Jay & Deb for the TT platform. I like people who keep it real, who are edgy, who are maybe just a bit off their rocker, because they keep life interesting and bright. There is just something cathartic about the odd, fun folks of the world. As I have stated before, "If you're bored, you're boring." Life is too much of a freak show circus to get all serious. Sit back and allow yourself to enjoy the show.

This gal has become a very supportive friend of mine. She is very creative and fun to follow. She is thought provoking and sarcastic. She provides a life view from a little different latitude. She and her husband share a deep love for the Virgin Islands, as do my wife and I. She is a very loving mother and wife. All I know is that computers work everywhere AmySprite. I am expecting more hilarity from you once you move across the pond to England. Go check out her blog, it will not disappoint. Thanks Amy, you really do rock sister!!!


A Jay and Deb Production.

Just Another Day At The Zoo...

So it is spring break, and what do kids love more on a budget than spending the day at the Zoo? Who knew that we would also get a sex ed class for our price of admission? OK, so that was in fast forward. We are about half way through the Zoo and stopped to look at the primates. They have little windows for the kids to view the animals (not so different than the store fronts in the red light district of London, but I digress.) So our kids go running up to the somewhat large 3ft by 3ft cave looking window to see the monkeys. Low and behold (yes, he held her low and was beholding) - I was just behind them, the kids that is, but too late. The quarter had been put in the wall and the show was on. Oy Vey, a gentleman and his wife in their 60's just snickered and let out a low chuckle as they listened to me try to herd my young ones away form the public display of well, affection.


So then I came across an article that brought this into focus for me. Did you hear about the recent study which “showed” that male monkeys basically “pay” for sex by grooming the females? Wow! Here all this time I thought we’d evolved from the apes, but it seems they’ve got us beat. Apparently, according to the study, they also spend less time working on any one potential mate if there is an abundant supply of females to choose from. Well of course they do. Who wouldn't? From where I sit, it’s the scientists who are the ones dragging their knuckles on the floor when it comes to understanding the act of mating. The irony is stunning, in that only the un-evolved would think that preening was "transactive" in the way that humans use dinner at a nice restaurant or a little black box from Jared to "score."

With nature being what it is, why would anyone assume first that the touch of another living being translates into an economic equation? Maybe the female enjoys the way it feels to have a male running his fingers through her hair. I for one love having my head rubbed. I am told even plants seem to like it when they are given the opportunity to brush up against each other.

Maybe in the jungle it's the feeling of being groomed that turns a girl on. It sounds to me like the monkeys have figured out how to put a prospect in the mood better than we humans have. Think about it. Given the choice - an exchange in goods and services or being messaged by someone who caresses and lathers you up with wonderful slippery smelly good oils? Gimme a break. You tell me... Which is more likely to get the heart pounding and juices flowing?
Just something to think about.

I hope Monsters vs. Aliens is a bit more gentle to my fragile psyche.

ATWT - Let the sun shine

To my loyal followers, I apologize for being absent the past few days.I missed Tuesday's Tribute and Wordful Wednesday. I am sorry if I disappointed you. To use a term of one of my radio hosts. I have been in the basement. I have been in what I will describe as simply a personal tornadic psychological event( after 6 wks of non stop efforts to find a new executive job- the lion was cornered with the reality that nothing was happening right now!Those realities came crashing down on me , and I was ill prepared for that.Call me a wimp, punk whatever- I do not care I am tough enough to handle what you have to toss.). Nothing really prepares anyone for major life change.
It is spring break here and I have been trying to do things with the kids like play hoops, crafts and silly movies and other inexpensive things to ensure they have a fun break. Kids say the darnedest things. My little man Jordan, 5 1/2, offered the other day to use his "piggy money" to pay for his movie ticket.

" I just want to help out dad."

Tell me that does not pull at your heart strings? As my friend Deb @ Dirty Sock & Pizza so eloquently expressed in her post yesterday, it can get to you no matter how big and tough you think you are. Props to my friend Jay@Halftime Lessons, he told me a few weeks ago when I was really down.

"Good things happen to good people, I have to believe that, because if it doesn't, I don't know what to believe."

Thanks Jay, that has meant a great deal to know that even far away you care. And what helpful advice and support for so many who are going through this with their families. We had some good luck here today. Colleen, my beautiful and loving wife, who quit her 20 year career as a Delta flight attendant (coffee, tea or me?) 3 yrs ago to be a wonderful stay at home Mom (full time job in itself), has landed a job with my favorite store. I am so proud of her. I mean, the last time she interviewed she was a sexy college sophomore and Delta said -
"Hey hottie with the nice legs and pretty face, want to be a stewardess?"
Well now, still sexy and hot she will be donning an orange smock. Let's hope this is the first of our luck coming back. I Christen Thee with the ever so coveted smock.